Where Attention goes Energy flows

For the first few days after my return I felt like I’m leaving in a different world. Everything seemed to be well organised, running smoothly. Comfortable. I keep saying that Sydney is a paradise and everyone who lives here has it all. This lasted maybe a week…

After the Honeymoon Effect wore off, I realised that the old patterns started re-emerging. It felt as if I have never gone anywhere. One thing changed!

I began paying attention to my though patterns, my worries and concerns. I still was doing most of the things I used to do but this time, occasionally, I experienced a sense of ease rather than an internal tension. I didn’t try to change anything, I simply started paying attention when got swept by the current of thoughts and situations. The question arises, how can you pay attention if you are unconscious of those situations as they happen. Well, that’s where my mindfulness training became so important.

I realised that the purpose of quiet periods of formal practice is to re-train my mind, re-wire my brain so I can be in the now more often. For years I thought that the best part is meditation itself where occasionally I experience blissful states. It turns out that the best part starts after I get up from the meditation.  This is difficult to understand living in the world where instant gratification is everything. Walking down the street, being happy with what you see, listening to your friend and being totally immerse in his/her words, cycling and enjoying every time you press on the pedal – simple activities, every activity, becomes an opportunity to practice and a chance to be happy.

Other realisation that came to me is that I have limited “amount” of attention. When I wake up I start with, say, 100 units and then over the course of the day I spend it. Most of it goes into thinking. I read that 47% of the time we are not aware what we are thinking about; the thinking just happens to us, the same as digestion and blood circulation. It’s as if someone steals money from my account and you have no idea! But I want to know where my money goes!

That’s why I started to invest my attention very carefully. I developed a habit of checking myself if my “mental currency” goes into projects I want to invest in: happiness, joy, growth, or being unconsciously consumed by anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, judgment…

My daily job is to have more “now moments” and share with others through public speaking, events, workshops, mindfulness classes how they transform my live and have potential to transform yours…now!